From One to Two

So this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down…

Stuck in your head? Sorry, I’ve been watching a lot of Fresh Prince in the middle of the night while up breastfeeding. However, it’s totally relevant to this blog post I’ve been meaning to take time to write/finish/post.

As you all know, a MONTH ago (yes, AN ENTIRE MONTH, can’t believe it myself) we went from a family of three to four and our lives-certainly-have been flipped turned upside down. I’ve talked about my hopes for Jameson and the new baby, what I haven’t talked much about are the feelings leading up to and after the life changer that is a new-no-a SECOND baby.

9 months of wondering:

1. Can I handle two babies? These thoughts mostly came while up at night with Chooch. How the heck was I going to do that when two kids are up crying at the same time?
2. When should I wean Chooch off of breastfeeding? Should I plan on tandem? Would he hate me for stopping? Do I want to stop? Turns out weaning came a lot easier than I thought it would. We lasted almost 23 months, we stopped the nighttime comfort feedings in December and have our own nighttime flow now.
3. Is my heart big enough for two? This was my biggest fear! A horrible thing to think, I know, but when you have a kid that you love SO MUCH you wonder if your heart is capable of doubling that. Turns out there is a lot more room than you’d think!

Thoughts I’ve had the first month:

1. Man, oh man I make so damn cute kids! I might be biased but no, seriously they’re freaking adorable!
2. Was I this tired when I had Jameson?
3. Geez, I forgot how hungry I am while breastfeeding! I literally eat a meal every two hours.
4. Am I giving enough attention to both kids? I would constantly hold Chooch when he was a newborn, he’s always been my snuggle buddy. With Al (Annaleighs nickname) she’s in the Rock n Play or swing a lot of the time if I’m not wearing her while I chase J around. J seems ok while I have Al: when I nurse her, he likes to sit with us and rub/kiss her head. I know sometimes he gets frustrated when I tell him “no” these days though…I know this from his two year old tantrums.
5. Should I nap when they’re both napping? This is ALWAYS an internal struggle with me. Napping seems to be a good idea-when is sleep not?-but sometimes I just want to sit, enjoy the silence and watch an entire, uninterrupted show/movie.
6. Thank GOODNESS for all the help our families give us. My mom comes over most weeknights to help me get everyone settled, my dad tags along to doctors appointments if I need an extra hand because Wes is working. Starting next week we are taking Jameson to a Giggles and Bubbles class and my dad is handling the bubbles (swim) part and I’m doing the giggles (gym) part. Wes is helping when he can if two kids are up at once-he just gets up at 3:00 am for work and I’m pretty sure the kids know that and wait for him to go. 🙄

There is always constant stream of questions going through my head. There’s a lot of pressure being a mom while trying to figure out what’s best for your children. Let me tell you: it’s a lot of trial and error. I’m glad I have these 12 weeks off to get in a routine with these two little rascals!